It is one of those nights.
Where you don’t know what you’re doing and you don’t know where you’re going and you didn’t know all the ways you were unprepared and notliketherestofthem and incomplete. And the future is scary and the future is now and you are somewhere caught between who you were and who you’re afraid you will never be.
It’s my blog’s third birthday today (or so the email from Tumblr tells me), and I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who follow me on here. When I started blogging, I was just doing it to find cool pictures and things that inspire me. I definitely didn’t set out to get followers, and sometimes it still blows my mind how many of you guys follow me on here. I remember sitting in my dorm room and being SO thrilled when I hit 100 followers, and it’s cool to see how much this little blog o’ mine has grown. So here’s to another year of blogging, weird gifs, and pretty pictures!
Twice a year, during finals week, I cry. Obviously, these are not the only times that I cry, but they’re the two biggest times. I’m talking hysterical, snotty, gut-wrenching, how-will-I-ever-get-through-this sobs. I stress myself out so much and expect so much of myself that I don’t have the ability to deal with it. And so, I cry. Every semester during finals week, I know it’s coming, but for some reason I always hope that maybe this will be the semester it won’t. Last night was that night for me, and after talking to my awesome sister and getting it out of my system, I felt better. Not perfect, but better. And so I thought that maybe some of you need to be reminded of the same things I was.
1. You are not your grades, and you are not your major. Getting good or bad grades does not define you; you are so much more of a complex and wonderful person than that.
2. You are allowed to cry. It’s not ridiculous, and it’s not anything to be ashamed of. My mother always told me “Crying gets the sad out.” If crying is what you need to do to get your sad out, then do it.
3. “Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.” Tests aren’t easy, and they’re not supposed to be. They’re hard by design, and if you’re feeling like they’re hard, that’s because you’re supposed to. This will be worth it.
4. This will all be over soon. After already taking one final (and with five more to go), it’s hard for me to see the finish line. But it’s there, and you can make it. You will get through this.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others. Just stop. You’re not them. You’re not ever going to be them. But they’re also not ever going to be you. You cannot compare your experience to anyone else’s, because your experience is just that — yours. If someone is doing better than you, that is not your concern. If someone is doing worse than you, that’s not your concern either. Comparing yourself to others is silly, because you are completely different people. So stop it.
Hopefully you are all doing okay this week, and we can all get through this together.
I’ve been listening to “Modern Vampires of the City” for six months and just now realized that Diane Young is supposed to sound like “dyin’ young.”
I finished all my midterms and can blog again?
Let me just state for the record that I know I’m ridiculous. You’re going to pretend that it’s cool that I’m complaining about so many HashtagFirstWorldProblems and I’m going to pretend that you care about what I have to say. Cool? Cool. Actually, not cool. More on that later. For now, let’s just say capiche. So, capiche? Capiche. (I do not know if I am spelling capiche correctly, for the record. If I’m spelling it wrong, just let me live in ignorance.)
I hit 6,000 followers yesterday, which was super exciting because it was also my birthday. It was the perfect present, so thank you so much to everyone who follows me! I hope I can keep curating pictures & quotes that continue to inspire & look pretty.
In which things get a little personal.